Grumpy Old Git Gaming

Crash Bandicoot is a 1996 platformer developed by Naughty Dog and published by Sony Computer Entertainment for the PlayStation One. The player controls Crash, a genetically enhanced bandicoot created by the mad scientist Doctor Neo Cortex. The story follows Crash as he aims to foil Cortex's plans for world dominance and rescue his girlfriend, Tawna, a female bandicoot also created by Cortex. The game is played from a third-person perspective, in which the camera trails behind Crash, though some levels feature forward-scrolling and side-scrolling perspectives. I thought that this game was really pretty good—not the best platformer that I have ever played—but it was certainly a lot of fun and kept me coming back. I liked the off-the-wall humour and had to pause to laugh at this game more than once. It was nice to see a game developed that didn't take itself all too seriously and allowed the player to just have fun goofing around. The mechanics were fairly solid, and I never had t...

Cover Girl Strip Poker, alternately titled Cover Girl Poker, is a 1991 erotic game based upon five-card poker and was originally developed and self-published by Emotional Pictures. It was released for the Amiga, DOS, Commodore 64, CDTV, and CD32 home computer systems. Cover Girl Strip Poker is the original Danish title; it was retitled Cover Girl Poker outside of Denmark in the rest of Europe, and the title was subsequently reverted to Cover Girl Strip Poker for the European CDTV and CD-ROM DOS releases. Emotional Pictures was a subsidiary of the Danish company InterActive Vision A/S. Personally, I thought that this game was complete garbage. I mean, I knew that it was bad, but wow. The gameplay is dull and repetitive, with nothing on offer here that you couldn't find in several other games of the time. The gameplay is shocking, plain, and simple. The AI is just stupid; I can't really think of any other way to put it. Once you have the computer responses worked out, it is a cas...

Conker's Bad Fur Day is a 2001 platform game developed and published by Rare for the Nintendo 64. The game follows Conker, a greedy, hard-drinking red squirrel who must return home to his girlfriend after a binge-drinking session. Most of the game requires the player to complete a linear sequence of challenges that involve jumping over obstacles, solving puzzles, and fighting enemies. A multiplayer mode in which up to four players can compete against each other in seven different game types is also included. It is the second installment in the Conker series, after Conker’s Pocket Tales. Although visually similar to Rare's previous games, such as Donkey Kong 64 and Banjo-Kazooie, Conker's Bad Fur Day was designed for mature audiences and features graphic violence, alcohol and tobacco use, profanity, vulgar humour, fourth wall breaks, and pop culture references.     I really loved playing through this game and thought that it was a fantastic way to send the N64 off, until the...

Command & Conquer: Tiberian Sun is a 1999 real-time strategy game developed by Westwood Studios, published by Electronic Arts, and released exclusively for Microsoft Windows in August 1999. The game is the sequel to the 1995 game Command & Conquer. It features new semi-3D graphics, a more futuristic sci-fi setting, and new gameplay features such as vehicles capable of hovering or burrowing. The main story of the game focuses on a second war between the UN-backed Global Defence Initiative (G.D.I.) and the cult-like Brotherhood of Nod, both seeking to rule over an Earth that is undergoing rapid ecological collapse. Tiberian Sun was one of the most anticipated games of 1999. Its development suffered numerous delays, with several features being cut before release. However, it was a commercial success and received positive reviews from critics, despite some of the technical bugs in the game. The dark atmosphere, foreboding soundtrack, and slow-paced gameplay of Tiberian Sun received...

Command & Conquer: Yuri's Revenge is an expansion pack to Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2, developed by Westwood Studios. The game was released in North America on October 9, 2001. The game is centred on a shadowy ex-Soviet figure named Yuri, who has established a secret army of his own and poses a threat to the free will of the world. The gameplay is a literal copy-paste of Red Alert 2, but with new FMV sequences, additional units, and new locations.   I thought that this game was wild and completely off-the-wall, but in the best way possible. It was crazy that this game's plot went from a fairly standard C&C-type plot to going to the literal moon! Yuri was the perfect villain for this game, and the fact that the U.S. and Soviets were forced to make peace to stop him tied him into the Tiberium timeline almost flawlessly. The new units and structures that were made available were excellent, and I really liked the new depth they added. However, I did think that a Yuri...

Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2 is a real-time strategy game that was released for Windows on October 24, 2000, as the follow-up to Command & Conquer: Red Alert. Red Alert 2 picks up at the conclusion of the Allied campaign of the first game. Its expansion pack is Command & Conquer: Yuri's Revenge, released a year later, in 2001. Red Alert 2 was principally developed by Westwood Pacific in collaboration with Westwood Studios. Command and Conquer: Red Alert 2 contains two playable factions, the Soviets and the Allies, which both previously appeared in Command & Conquer: Red Alert. The single-player campaign is structured in an alternate-ending mode as opposed to a progressive story mode. Like its predecessor, Red Alert 2 features a large amount of full-motion video cutscenes between missions and during gameplay, with an ensemble cast including Ray Wise, Udo Kier, Kari Wuhrer, and Barry Corbin.   For me, I found Red Alert 2 to be a definite improvement over the first g...

Command and Conquer: Red Alert is an RTS game developed by the once-great Westwood Studios and published by Virgin Interactive. Set in an alternate timeline where Adolf Hitler is erased from history and the USSR takes control of most of the Eurasian landmass. The player takes command of either the Allied forces trying to stop Joseph Stalin or the forces of the USSR and attempts to take over the last remaining countries in Europe. The player can directly command a variety of units and must build bases and complete a series of missions for their chosen faction in a real-time style of gameplay.   I have completed this game more than five times now across the PC and PlayStation ports, and I can say that I have enjoyed the hours I spent. I can remember playing the expansion packs too many years ago and also found those to be fun and enjoyable. Yet I am also aware that this game has its flaws and issues, and while I really like it, I can't let those problems go. The first and most annoyi...

 ** Warning, this post covers adult topics **   Cobra Mission: Panic In Cobra City is an adult RPG game developed by INOS and published by Megatech Software. The player takes on the role of J.R., a private investigator, as he tries to find a friend of his former school friend and past flame. Who had gone missing without any warning and under suspicious circumstances not long before his arrival. Along the way, the player will meet various girls and be 'rewarded' for helping them solve their problems. Cobra Mission was one of the very first 'eroge' or erotic games to ever be translated and released to the English-speaking market. After reading some of the reviews that this game received around its time of release, I was led to believe that this game was an absolute shocker and for all the wrong reasons. Being a new genre for the 'gaijin' or 'foreigner' in English, this game was a trailblazer in its own way and opened the path for a completely new type of g...

Civilization III Complete is the third game in the bestselling series of 4X grand strategy games, developed this time around by Firaxis Games and published by Infogrames Interactive. It was released in 2001, followed by Civilization IV. Unlike the original games, Civ III was not designed by Sid Meier but by Jeff Briggs and Soren Johnson. Much like in the first two games, the player takes control of a budding civilization and leads them from the primitive age all the way through to the space age. The player must construct cities, train units, manage diplomatic relations with opposing factions, and balance the needs of their civilization with the needs of the world at large. I liked this game a lot and can remember it being one of the first games that I ever secured a copy of to play on my then-dedicated gaming computer. I must have sunk at least one hundred hours into this game by the time that I decided to move on to the fourth game, and I can hardly remember having any major issues at...

Civilization II is a turn-based 4X strategy game developed and self-published by MicroProse for MS-DOS computer systems. The game was later ported to the PlayStation One by Activision in 1996. Play is mostly unchanged from the first game and again requires the player to lead a civilization from the primitive age all the way up to the modern age. With an emphasis on management and grand strategy tactics, the player must balance the needs of their nation with the need to expand and conquer the world. The game can be finished in a variety of ways, from cultural and military dominance all the way to winning the space race and settling on a distant world. For me, this is a markedly better game than the first one; it still suffers from the same issues, but they are much less obstructive to play than they were in the first. The issue of whether primitive units can beat advanced units is still a problem I found. Having an enemy spearman or horse archer destroy a mechanised infantry is wholly f...

Civilization, or Sid Meier's Civilization, is a 1991 turn-based strategy game developed by MPS Labs and published by MicroProse for MS-DOS, Amiga, PC-98, Atari ST, Windows, Macintosh, Super NES, Sony PlayStation, and Sega Saturn home gaming systems. A 4X game (Explore, Expand, Exploit, Exterminate), Civilization puts the player in the role of a ruler for one of a collection of different nations. The player is then tasked with leading that civilization over the course of several millennia by controlling various areas such as urban development, exploration, government, trade, research, and the military. The player can control individual units and advance the exploration, conquest, and settlement of the game's world. The player can also make such decisions as setting forms of government, tax rates, and research priorities.   This is easily the first game that I can remember ever having put over 60 hours into over the years. I spent days after days just playing this game to its end...